The most wonderful time of the year, the time of year when everyone comes together and talks about their own year. But to some, this is a time of year that you are reminded about the important lives that are not around. The lives that have touched you in so many ways, yet you no longer get to feel their presence. All good things must come to an end, yet, these people should not have.
Every year the second October hits, waves of emotions flood my mind; anger, sadness, happiness, and guilt. I am reminded of the people that I do not get to share these next precious few months with. I am faced with the ending of another year, and start of one, without them. I feel guilty because while they are in a better place, I feel like I am enjoying so many things without them. I get to see their families grow, create new goals, and accomplish new things.
So many things can be said, but as we are all taught, we must push through and put on that happy face. That isn't always as easy as it seems. When I think about Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years--one name is constantly in my mind: Mema. These were the months that I always spent the most time with her. The months that my Mema was able to be the wife, mother, and grandmother she was born to be. The treats, the laughs, and the warm hugs that were always there. She loved the holidays (even when she complained). Our family was always united in her presence, and now we must do this without her here.
She isn't the only one that comes to mind. Many people are experiencing the same feeling. The emptiness and the odd quietness of their own homes. Homes that were once filled with their spirits and laughter. Holidays don't quite have the same ring to them as you get older and are able to realize these things. Holidays are more of a reminder, a reminder of the people you are missing out on.
The thing that keeps going is the thought of them. They would not want this. So, while we have our moments of sadness. We must also have our moments of happiness. The happiness of the moments we once shared with them. The thought of their laughter and excitement, and most importantly--their love. Because their love was the most important thing.
Keep your chin up darling, everything will be alright.
